Brian Krakow > Jordan Catalano, amirite?

So, the amazing gabbylonglegs on Etsy makes cool resin’n'pop culture jewellery (think Katniss & Peeta earrings, y’all). Including this, which MUST be mine:

Yes. That is a BRIAN KRAKOW NECKLACE. <3 so much!

And it’s only AUS$8! Amazing.

Elsewhere in AMAZINGNESS, you could sport your very own One Tree Hill-inspired Hos Over Bros necklace! Yes!

Silver-plated, £14.50, a total bargain, despite the tragedy of poor punctuation. Looking stoopid is a small price to pay for teen teevee style, amirite?

I will be making these Buffy the Vampire Slayer Restless-inspired earrings mine come payday:

Via poptacular‘s Etsy shop, just US$8. Mega-lolz.

Clearly, there’s a whole world of teen teevee jewellery and accessories out there. I might start my own Etsy shop so the three regular readers of this site can buy tat I mean awesome hand-crafted Dawson’s Creek accessories. Who wouldn’t want a Pacey Witter bangle? *Plots*

GILMORE GIRLS

Shimmy shimmy la la… Like, look away now if you’re a hater with an allergy to adorableness and quirkitude and self-conscious Manic Pixie Dream Girlieness la la la. No, I’m not talking about Zooey Deschanel’s performance in the execrable The New Girl; I speak of the singular, saccharine charms of Gilmore Girls, the Hallmarky, officially Family Friendly teen teevee show that redefined the meaning of twee and quirky, wrapped those words in a simpering bow and fired the whole cutesy package through a love cannon with a bunch of confetti hearts while singing “la la la la la” along to the Carole King (yes, really) theme tune and sepia-toned When Harry Met Sally credits sequence. I loved it.

AMAZING DAWSON LEERY “I ATE POO” FACE REVELATIONS!

Loathe as I am to link to Oh No They Didn’t! because really, isn’t Livejournal just so 1990s? (LOL, like a blog that is 99.9% focussed on Pacey’s Creek and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is so au courant.) BUT! Today it has shared some Very Important News.

I classify all and any Dawson Leery-related bumph as “important”, more so when it relates to… THE “I ATE POO” CRYING FACE from when Poor Joey Potter dumped Leery’s womanly arse and scampered off to shag Pacey Witter on the high seas like a tomboyish sex pirate. (Tragically ruined when the next series-season revealed they hadn’t spent their summer boning like Skeletor, but READING to each other from HAMMOCKS. FFS.)

You may be familiar with said face: IT LITERALLY RUINS EVERYTHING.

Anyways: not in the script, people. NOT IN THE GODDAMNED SCRIPT. James Van Der Dawson Leery Woodsen improvised that shit. That is Emmy-winning acting. Did he need to crumple his face in the manner of a new parent’s first sleepless confrontation with a nappy? NO. He could have just phoned that scene in. But HE ACTED.*

*Acted like a gouty horse.

FULL DETAILS ON THIS AMAZING NEWS AT ONTD

“It wasn’t scripted, I don’t think. I mean, it was appropriate for the scene. You know, it was just high drama; you’ve been living with this character for a while and a scene like that just kind of drops in your lap and you just lose it. They yell cut and say, ‘Oh my god. That was amazing!’ So I remember being completely surprised by it because it was completely sincere. The fact that it’s being used to mock me now, I think it’s so funny.”

HIGH DRAMA. I literally cannot add anything to James Van Der Beek calling the poo face scene “high drama” to make it funnier. It is already the most amazing thing that has ever happened. HIGH DRAMA. Amazing.

SUNNYDALE

The (fictional, obvs) town in Southern California that’s home to Buffy Summers, the Scoobies, and a giant Hellmouth.  Despite a fairly small population – just 36,500, and falling all the time – Sunnydale is surprisingly well equipped, with a mall, an army base, an abandoned factory, random ancient mansions for vampires to drape with velvet curtains and hang out in, like property developers wouldn’t be all over that and turning it into overpriced bijoux apartments), 43 churches and cemeteries, and TWO universities.  It even has a cinema, which is way more than my town (pop. 39,000) had. (Seriously. I had to get two trains and make an hour’s journey just to go to see Titanic. What a load of bollocks.)

SUMMER ROBERTS: THE COLLEGE YEARS

Summer’s College Years begin in series (season) four of The OC with the aftermath of Marissa Cooper’s death and, naturally, as Marissa’s BFF, Summer is one of the few characters that actually cared. At “Brown” (or “the Harbor high school set hastily dressed to look like an Ivy League school”) she throws herself into saving the environment to avoid dealing with her grief over her best friend’s death.

(You know, the best friend who skipped her birthday party, left her dateless at her debutante ball, abandoned her at school for an entire term to be a random lesbian, then abandoned her AGAIN to have a slut spiral, tried to sabotage their parents’ engagement, and yelled at her in a coke-fuelled rage. That best friend.)

SUMMER ROBERTS

Aside from Julie Cooper who, in four seasons (series), went from gold-digging manipulative bitch to… gold-digging manipulative bitch with a college degree, The OC character who evolved the most was Summer Roberts. I know this because the season four DVD  told me so in its special feature “Summer Roberts, From Beauty to Brown”, instead of providing outtakes of the cast celebrating the demise of Marissa Cooper.

NEWS FLASH! SUMMER ROBERTS: OFFICIALLY STILL THE COOLEST

Do you want to see Summer Roberts rapping? Like, OBVS.

SUMMER ROBERTS. RAPPING. AMAZING.

Does this mean abc teen teevee is back? Maaaaaaaaybeeeeeee… Watch. This. Space.

HIATUS HIATUS HAITUS

Yeah, like, sorry and stuff. (To my two regular readers!)

Three things:

1. My laptop has gone for a Burton.
2. My internet is FUBARED.
3. I have various lurgies.

I am hoping things will be fixed by May, when I will then update sporadically and in my own time, cos it’s an encyclopedia not a proper daily blog and that.

The end! Happy weekend!

30-YEAR-OLD TEENAGERS

Okay, this is the big diff between British teen telly and American teen teevee, the big kahuna. (Well, aside from budgets, tans, dentistry, and the UK’s lack of cotillions, Friday night dinners, poolhouses, hotel penthouses, black-tie fist fights, high-school graduations and cars.) Dear ol’ Blighty prefers its teen dramas to have a cinéma vérité feel, generally casting yer actual teenagers to play, y’know, actual teenagers.

Byker Grove, Press Gang, Grange Hill, heck, even Skins, they’re all played by da kidz. Keepin’ it real. Keepin’ it unattractively real, let’s be honest. There’s a high proportion of puppy fat, acne, braces, and just that general sheen of awkward that comes as a side dish to the hormone buffet of teendom.

BUFFY’S BACK!!!!!!!!!*

*Not Buffy. Sarah Michelle Gellar.

My beloved Smidge is returning to the goggle box in a show that, well, sounds a bit like a cross between the Laura Palmer/Maddy Ferguson nonsense of Twin Peaks, and that terrible David Cronenberg film where creepy creepy Jeremy Irons plays twin gyneacologists, one of whom is all pervy.

That film? Dead Ringers. Smidge’s show? The Ringer.

Guys? I’m worried. The descrip of the show, from EW.com:

It’s an edgy thriller about redemption and about revenge. There’s a point of view of two twin sisters who grew apart over a tragedy in their past. And one now seeks redemption and the other one seeks revenge. The sister who is seeking redemption has had a much more troubled life. When her fancy pants sister disappears, she takes over her life. She’s living the life of her more successful sister only to come to find out that her life is equally as fraught with danger and complication. Her sister dies in a boating accident. The other sister takes on her persona, only to come to find out that they have a hit out on her.

Honestly, all I can think is:

• Jeremy Irons
• Gynaecology
• Bobby from Home and Away coming out of the fridge like Tom Riddle and terrifying Ailsa (um, because of the boating accident. But any excuse to watch that clip, really)
• Liz and Jessica Wakefield (Sweet Valley Confidential comes out soon, yay!)
• The terrible off-ness anytime Ursula met Phoebe in Friends
• GOOD TWIN EVIL TWIN REALLY???
• The phrase “fancy pants”
• Didn’t we already do this in Doppelgangland? If the boating accident sister isn’t a skanky gay vampire, I’m not watching